ABP editorial

Channel Frederator: A Review

I just watched the latest video on www.channelfrederator.com, "The Meth Minute to the 39th Power, No. 6: The Music Nerds", made by Dan Meth. It was pretty funny, about two guys having a contest to see who knows Led Zeppelin's music better. The animation is done in a silly simple style. I would definitely recommend checking this shit out, pronto.

Gorillaz: Cool, or Really Fucking Gay and Lame?

For those of you who don't know, the Gorillaz is a band comprised of 4 cartoon characters. Of course, obviously, there are people behind this band. Damon Albarn, the guy from Blur, started the group the Gorillaz with the hip-hop producer the Automator a few years back. Then they put out a second album with Dangermouse producing. I don't know who else is in this group. I was just thinking about them for some reason.

I heard that when they perform live they project the cartoon characters on some screen while behind the screen the group plays. Who in their right mind would go to see this? It doesn't sound so cool to me. "Please can I pay 40 bucks to watch a projection on the wall?" Live hip-hop sucks anyways. "Unless it's the Roots," you say? Fuck that. They're just okay. The Gorillaz do have some pretty good songs though.

Some British dude named Jamie Hewlett is the animator for the Gorillaz. He's the creator of the comic strip Tank Girl. He lived with Albarn for a while, after splitting up with his girlfriend. I wonder why they broke up. She was probably jealous of Tank Girl. Way to be happy for your man. Or maybe she loved him so much that she became smothering. It's possible that they had no sexual chemistry because, while he loved her as a friend, he just wasn't all that attracted to her. Or maybe he was turned on by how disgusted by her he was, but then decided he didn't want a girlfriend who disgusted him. It's possible that she went on a bus trip across country and hooked up with some other girls, and while he accepted this at first, he didn't like it when she returned and one of those girls, a hardcore dyke, kept calling all the time, and then flew in to see his girlfriend. That could have been the last straw. Or maybe they just liked slightly different music, like she liked Blur's punkier songs and he preferred the mellow gospelly stuff. It could be that while he found himself incredibly attracted to her, she was something of an idiot, and after a while he got bored of her drama, so they broke up but would still sleep together sometimes. Or maybe she wanted to get married and he didn't, but they were still in love, but once the subject of marriage was broached, there was no turning back. Or maybe he snored too loud so she kicked him out. Or maybe he always came in two seconds. Or maybe they just wanted different things from life. Or maybe he was sick of her stupid friends always coming over and wanted to live with his own friend.

While the music of the Gorillaz is pretty good, like half the songs on each album are good, half aren't, still, this gimmick of having cartoon characters as the band seems pretty lame. Why do they have to combine so many different genres? Just make good music, dudes. Just chill.

Bernie reviews some guide book

About a month ago, I flipped through the book Your Career in Animation: How to Survive and Thrive, by David B. Levy. I am not sure what the B stands for. It doesn't say anywhere in the book. So I did a little internet research on the matter. Tricky, I know! Well, my Google search didn't turn up anything on his middle name. He has illustrated a lot of books, though. Children's books, mostly. But what the heck does the B stand for? Bernie? We can't rule out the possibility. One thing I'm certain of, it's not Bob, because then it would be R for Robert. Interestingly enough, however, his father's name is Bob Levy. There is a picture of his father in the book's introduction. His father was (allegedly) a "master art director".

This book could be interesting for fresh-faced animators, or somewhat established animators who are stuck in a rut. Levy got his start in animation at a time when you could pop into a studio and ask for a job and they'd consider you, they'd be like, "This kid's got moxie." He admits, if I recall correctly, that this may not work anymore. In general, he does give good advice it seems, like don't just concentrate on one job - apply for many jobs. Cast a large net. This is kind of obvious, though. He also says to be positive, don't talk shit about fellow animators, etc. One useful bit of advice Levy gives is to say, fuck the internet (when looking for a job). Most studios, he writes, don't post their job openings online. It's better to get face-to-face meetings. This makes sense, and could save people a lot of time and wasted effort. The book also discusses what to do during periods of unemployment (hint: it doesn't involve sleeping until 4 and then dialing up your local whorehouse), being an independent animator, and how to make a pitch to a studio.

Overall, if you're in animation, why not check out this book? It's only twenty bucks. You'd probably think nothing of going to a bar and dropping a twenty on four beers one evening. You drink those four beers and you've got a buzz for about an hour, then you need another, or you go home and go to bed. So you could have a couple hours of mild entertainment, or buy this book and help out your career. Don't be a sucker. Make the responsible choice! Buy this book, and also buy a 40 for two bucks, drink the 40 and read this book one evening. It couldn't hurt.

Oh, Yes... Bernie Is Back with Another Graphic Novel Review

I really like rabbits. A rabbit has this quality about him, like you feel bad for him because he's so serious, and he tries so hard at whatever he’s doing, be it digging, chewing, stomping, and you want to cheer him on, but you also want to pat him gently on the head and say, "Oh, you poor loser."

Review: a graphic novel by Jeffrey Brown

AEIOU, or Any Easy Intimacy, is a bittersweet autobiographical graphic novel by Jeffrey Brown, a Chicago-based artist in his early 30's.  (As far as I could tell, his latest project was making one of those videos for the "Directions" project for Death Cab for Cutie). 

Have you ever had an agonizing on/off relationship with a girl you became infatuated with, and she may or may not have had the same feelings for you - but if she did, then wouldn't it have worked out? - or maybe sometimes it just can't work between two people no matter how much they love each other? - either way it got a bit messy and the only way you could cope was to accept that it's over, while still holding on to the faint possibility that it could be rekindled if you completely let go - but then are you completely letting go? 

If you've ever been involved/tortured in that sort of ordeal, reading this book will unfade the memories of that girl, making you alternately pine for her while at the same time being grateful that you're not filled with the pain of not being able to have her completely, or whatever.  Personally, I have had the pleasure of being in two such relationships.  Is it worth it?  I've never figured that out.  Brown strikes me as the type of guy who'd say Yes, it was worth it.  If you haven't had this sort of relationship, I'm not sure what you'd think of AEIOU.  Probably that Jeffrey Brown is a sentimental bastard.

AEIOU is certainly interesting.  Well-drawn, well-paced, etc.  I read the entire thing in one 20 minute sitting.  He's got a knack for capturing those little moments that allow you to get a whiff of the bigger picture.  At the same time, though, I feel like he's going to change his mind about this whole relationship in a year or two.  Because right now he definitely glosses over certain facets of the relationship.  Like when she starts seeing a different guy at some point.  That must have hurt like hell for him but in this graphic novel Brown pretty much lets it slide.  Ah, what can you do?

The relationship is between an older guy and younger girl.  They probably were in love.  She wasn't ready for the intensity he was after.  That's the problem with an older guy dating a younger girl when they're not at the same maturity level.  She eventually feels trapped by his love and rebels, and then the dynamic has shifted to a father-daughter thingie.  He takes her virginity but in the end... she takes... his... heart.  How ironic.  Or is it?

One thing I especially liked about the novel was the way Brown draws naked breasts.  Very realistic with the angles and such.  Also, the dialogue is very true, with exchanges such as: "If you didn't want me here, why did you invite me over?" "I thought you wanted to come over."  Man, I hate when girls are all like that.  Well, hate is a strong word.  Maybe "can't stand" is more precise. 

Also, she's a cutter, and later while they're in bed, she compares sex with him to cutting herself, and he doesn't say anything, he just stares at the ceiling and then rolls over, then she rolls over and cautiously touches his back.  I'd say that was the best moment of the novel.  Fuck, this book is depressing as hell. 

I hate that feeling you get when you talk to her, or when she comes to visit and it's so great to see her but also so fleeting, it's just... well, if you want to re-experience that, or experience it for the first time, purchase this graphic novel.  As I write this, and the more I think about it, I come to realize, it's really good.

AEIOU by Jeffrey Brown, $12

www.topshelfcomix.com

Family Guy, Vol. 3: Season 4

Hello everyone, it's good to be back.  I was in a country that didn't have any computers for the past couple of months.  Well, enough chit chat.  Let's get to that review.

Family Guy, Vol. 3: Season 4.  A title which comes close to rivaling Rambo, First Blood: Part 2 in confusion. Volume 3 or Season 3?  Is there a Volume 4?  No?  I thought there was.  No, there's a Season 4, which is Volume 3.  What happened?  Volume 1 is Seasons 1 & 2, that's what happened.

Dangerdoom Album Review

I just took a poop for no reason other than pure boredom.  I'm at work.  My work has nothing to do with animation.  Sometimes at work I listen to music.  For a while I was really into listening to the Dangerdoom album.  It is categorized as a rap album, and that's what it is.  I bet you expected me to say it's categorized as a rap album but it's so much more than that, it's like a jazz-funk-hiphop-rock adventure.  It's not.  It's a collaboration between the dj Dangermouse, who did that mix of the Beatles' White Album and Jay-Z's Black Album, and MF Doom, some rapper from somewhere.  The reason I mention it here is, a running theme throughout the album is the animated show "Aqua Teen Hunger Force".  Characters from that show pop up in songs and say some funny stuff and I guess there are a lot of references to things from the show.  I wouldn't know, because I've only seen the show once.  I remember that one guy who is a basket of french fries.  I don't watch cartoons all that much.  Anyhow, the album is great.  I'd give it 20 thumbs up out of a possible 30, but with the grade curve, it gets 30 thumbs up, for a perfect score of 100%.  Even if you don't watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force, you will still love this album.  Unless you don't like rap.  Then you won't like it.

A while back, I had this roommate - to protect his identity, we'll call him Barleene - and he used to be really into going to this neighborhood bar on Sunday nights to watch the Cartoon Network.  Apparently that was the bar's thing, that they showed cartoons every Sunday night.  Barleene would invite me every week but I'd never go, even though he made it sound so exciting.  Every Sunday around 5 in the afternoon, he'd pop into my room and say, "Wanna watch some cartoons tonight?"  Finally one night I agreed.  It was not at all what I expected.  The cartoons were playing on a tiny tv above the bar, most of the patrons were chatting away, and the bartender refused to turn off her music (but did agree to put on the subtitle feature).  First Family Guy was on, and that's always a barrel of laughs, even reading it on subtitles.  Then it was Aqua Teen Hunger Force.  Like I said, I liked the french fry character.   He floated.   I don't remember much else.  There was a red guy, too.  Overall, it was a miserable experience.  Barleene invited basically everyone he knew, and about ten people show up, and nobody knew anyone but Barleene.  Except I sort of knew this one girl, so I talked to her for a little bit, but we didn't have much to say.  In my mind I was a robot programmed to only say fifteen words in this lifetime, and then once I hit that mark, I'd explode.  So I was watching my words carefully.  After drinking one beer, I went home.

I just had the following exchange in the lunchroom with a girl I vaguely know:

(She unwraps a half a burrito and pops it in the microwave.  It is 4pm)
Me: It's pretty late for lunch.
Her: I already ate lunch.  This is leftovers.
Me: So it's like a snack.  Well, it's a perfect time for a snack.
Her: Yeah.
Pause.
Her: This is a pre-dinner snack.
Me: Yup.

Today I am feeling ill.  I'm thinking of renting that Stewie Family Guy special dvd.  Some people have told me it's just 3 Family Guy episodes strung together.  But I don't see the problem with that, since Family Guy is awesome.  Has anyone seen it?  Is it worth renting?  I wonder if Kie Richards owns it.

Finally, I would like to say that godard writes the worst comments.  He responded to one of mine by writing "wft?", as I addressed in an earlier post.  And he responded to someone else's post by writing "Whoa".  So he has used a total of 5 consonants, 2 vowels and 1 question mark in two comments so far.  I will keep a running tally.

Fondly,

Bernie

Re: The Simpsons: Revisted - Bernie Responds

Response to Comment #1: Kie writes: "I hope you are not saying that the Simpsons DVD is boring and not worth buying because in some places that is all you can see or rent. I live in a small area in Utah, where the only "independent" animation I see is on the internet. Please do not have such a narrow mind with "mainstream" animation because it represents a bigger thing than ourselves." 

Well, Kie, I didn't mean to imply that the Simpsons is boring.  I love The Simpsons.  What I meant to say was that if you have seen many, many episodes of The Simpsons like I have, and like many people my age (28) have, then you may not want to buy The Simpsons dvd sets.  I figure if you're plunking $40 down on a dvd set, then you want to be entertained not just in a nostalgic way, but also in a new way.  There is a fine line between having seen a show enough to know you want to watch an entire season's episodes, but not having seen it so much that the prospect of watching an entire season's episodes doesn't excite you.  That's why I bought Vol. 3 of the Family Guy about a year ago, because I had only seen the show a couple times and I found it funny, so I was excited to see all these episodes for the first time.  Watching The Simpsons, there's a lot of "Oh, yeah, that was funny" moments, and there are definitely moments when I've cracked up pretty hard, but overall, it's nothing new.  Which is not to take anything away from The Simpsons.  I think it's the greatest animated show ever.  (The greatest non-animated show ever is Beverly Hills, 90210).  The Simpsons shall live in my noodle forever.  "Forever, and that's a mighty long time" - Prince.

Now, Kie, in regards to your living in a small town, I don't see what that has to do with anything.  As you said, you can see independent animation on the internet anyhow, so what's the diff?  I guess you're saying there aren't animation festivals around.  But there is Sundance, so you've got that.  Besides, I live in New York, and it's not like it's easy to rent independent animation from video stores here - hardly any of them carry any of that stuff, and this is the biggest city in the Universe, aside from Tokyo.  And I don't see how I have a narrow mind.  The Simpsons is clearly mainstream, I'm just telling it like it is.  Because Bernie is not Ernie or Shmernie.

Comment #2: Godard writes: "wft?" What fuck the?  I assume you meant wtf (you non-proofreading dolt), as in, what the fuck?  Or maybe you transposed the letters on purpose to try and be a little less generic with your generic ass comment.  So you're one of those people who makes generic comments because you think someone has to say it, so it may as well be you.  Well, you are what's wrong with this world!  Obviousness, the lowest common denominator - that's you.  That must be why you go by the monicker godard, because you can't think of an original one.  You're too self-absorbed and dull to realize that Godard was a true original and you're just dragging his name through the mud.  I'm sure you don't understand any of his movies, but that's another story. 

I hate it when people say things that are so entrenched in pop culture that there's no point in saying it.  Like people who go around labeling things "random".  Or when that Nelly song was popular, and you'd be in an elevator with some people and one of the people would observe, "Wow, it's getting hot in here," and then another person would shout, "So take off all your clothes! You know, like the song!  Ha ha ha!"  Or when people talk about how Tarantino's not so great, because he just steals from other genres - that point has been made a billion times so why make it, and besides, it's not even true.  Watch an old kung fu movie and then watch Kill Bill and try and tell me that he just ripped off that movie.  I have to go to sleep now.

Good night sweet angels.

Bernie

The Simpsons: Revisited

I am what you might call a fan of mainstream animation.  I don't know much about influential guys that get taught about in animation programs, since I never studied animation.  "Mainstream Bernie" they call me in the animation world, because I like The Simpsons, The Family Guy, funny, quick stuff like that.  I'm not really into full-length animated movies.  I don't think there's ever been one I like, except for Waking Life, but I don't know what you'd consider that.

Right before we broke up again, my on-again/off-again girlfriend gave me the 7th season of The Simpsons on dvd as a birthday gift.  I wasn't so flaterred by this gift, since everyone likes The Simpsons, so it's a generic gift. You can't exactly say, "Hey, I know you. You like The Simpsons."  Everyone likes it, aside from a few argumentative snobs here and there.  I'm just a couple years shy of 30, and I've seen The Simpsons many times.  Now I'm into the Family Guy.  My roommate just bought Vol. 4 on dvd.  I don't think I ever spoke about The Simpsons to my ex, so like I said, I don't know why she gave it to me.  Well, this is one of the reasons we broke up, dammit!  She doesn't pay attention to me!  Just kidding (sort-of). 

A few days after receiving this purple-boxed gift set, I decided to revisit The Simpsons.  I haven't really sat down and watched it for a few years.  Fortunately, during the 7th season I was a freshman in college, so I have only seen these episodes one time at the most, since I spent most of that year involved in things other than watching the tube, unless it was to see movies like Easy Rider, True Romance, Mallrats or Billy Madison.  So it turns out The Simpsons is not a million jokes a second like I remember it, but it still has plenty of very funny lines.  I can't recall any of them because I'm not good at remembering lines from things.  I wish I was.  I am always envious of those sorts.  I did notice the show has a lot of overt political messages which don't age well.  On the whole, however, it is still very funny and entertaining.  I would give it a million stars.  But I wouldn't recommend buying it.  But if your girlfriend gives it to you and then you and her break up the following afternoon, I wouldn't recommend returning it, either.  Hold on to that sucker.  The Simpsons is still good for more than a few laughs.

It appears that this post is getting long, so I will sign off here.  Adios, amigos. 

From the offices of the mainstream...

Bernie